Anger coming from fear

I saw yesterday (again) my raging anger. It can flash pretty hot. But my anger always stems from fear. I am a fearful person. Put into a stressful situation my first response is anger.

I am reading Jonah right now. I can relate that situation to the thoughts of chapter 2. You may wonder how. I am going to try to explain. I'd say Jonah starts out angry. He does not want to help the Ninevites, those people who were treating his people so badly, so evilly. He is angry at God, as we shall see later in the story. His anger shows itself in fear. He feared God so he tried to escape from God's presence. He knew he actually could not escape from God but he tried to anyway. (I think we do that.)

When in the boat fleeing he was picked as the man who was the cause of the storm. He did not deny it. So, in this situation at least, he did not fear men. But when asked to tell about himself (Jonah 1:9) to their many questions (they were panicked) he answered simply 1) I am a Hebrew. and 2) I fear the Lord God who made the sea and the dry land. So he knew that God was ruler everywhere, not just in Judah and Samaria.

Then Jonah was put in a large fish. Whale? Somehow he was surviving. It sounds like an organic cave. No light. Jonah seems to have repented of his anger. He remembers God's goodness. God has saved him from death in the sea. He couldn't really have expected that when he was thrown into the sea. Rather than all of them perishing only he was expected to die. The rest were saved by his brave decision. Yet Jonah did not die. God saved him too.

He says while he is sinking he remembered God. This prayer in chapter 2 seems confused as well you might imagine. God heard his prayer and saved him from out of the ocean. I hope I have enough sense to pray to God in the midst of stressful situations. After all these years of walking with God I do not think I do. That's a terrible thing to have to admit. Jonah prayed as he was drowning. I admire him for it. I think many people in life threatening situations do not pray to God and therefore are not saved when God would dearly like to save them if only they would ask. One might be tempted to be angry at God about this. Yet God is also merciful. It's not a rule. God can and does save without being asked. But God desires a relationship with us. Part of that is asking God. We acknowledge he is God and we are not. We need his help. We should ask with thanksgiving.

In his prayer Jonah vows to sacrifice to God with a thankful heart, not angry anymore. He has repented. That is when God has the fish put him out on dry land. Verse 2:4 concludes "Salvation is from the Lord." Yes it is. Don't you forget it.

I think at the beginning of his prayer Jonah is still angry but as he works through his feelings before God he repents. He realizes he wants to see God;s holy temple again. The temple is the physical representation of God in the world. Jonah loves God. God has saved him so that he can later do just that, worship at the temple. But first ...

3 John

I never noticed this before but 3 John was written to a man named Gaius but the purpose was to criticize if not condemn a man who was the local leader of a church who would not allow fellowship with other Christians.

He appointed himself sole arbiter of what was right and proper. He did not want other input. Specifically he rejected the pastoral authority of John himself.

Now John was all about fellowship with other Christians. And as Christians we need the encouragement and fellowship of one another. "Brothers, let us love one another." And "He who does not love his brother does not know God." This man who would not love and accept other Christians was not loving his brother and did not know God, in the view of John.

Surely this is a corrective for today. A man who is leading a fellowship should never allow himself to think he does not need the help of others. And he should never be so insecure as to not allow his church members to go elsewhere to receive wholesome teaching and preaching. In the great fellowship of the universal church we need one another. We need to stay in communication. There will be differences that are annoying at times. But nevertheless we must strive to stay in fellowship, in communication with all Christians, no matter how different their styles of worship and the terms they use to describe belief systems.

This applies to church bodies but also to individuals. It is so easy to avoid Christians from other traditions because the differences make us uncomfortable. It is important to accentuate the commonalities and only discuss the differences if it can be done in a friendly manner. Discuss ministry and not theology. Let us hear about the fruits in each other's ministries.

Reading 1 John

I am always confused when reading 1 John, if I am honest with myself and read it slowly and carefully. Are those dialectics that John uses? I cannot quite get dialectics either. Maybe you are not supposed to.

Reading John always makes me uncomfortable. How can one read that to know one is saved one must be perfect, be righteous, be sinless and not be uncomfortable. Who is sinless? Who is perfect?

I know John addresses all that. If you have sin you have an advocate Jesus Christ, the righteous. That I can stand on, as on firm ground. That makes me comfortable.

One spot caught my eye. Verses 3:12-13 Why did Cain kill Abel? Simply because Cain's deeds were evil and Abel's were righteous. "So do not marvel, my brothers, when the world hates you.

I'd like to think if you do good the world will love me. But no the world is really not like that. Take John's word for it. Mostly people in the world will be indifferent to you, because as a Christian, you are not of this world. But some will openly hate you. Think of you experience. Do not be surprised. Do not try to appease them. That is one's first reaction, to try to talk them out of it or make a concession. No do not try to appease them. It shows that you are in the right and they are feeling guilty. Maybe God can reach them through your goodness.

My first reaction is to think "No they won't hate me because I do not do good, I do not do righteous deeds." But if you walk with God and have fellowship with other Christians you will be righteous (most of the time) and the world will notice. They may pretend not to, but they will. And some will react hatefully.

Do not be surprised. Do not marvel. Be wise, do not let them hurt you. But do not appease them either. Let God confront them. Perhaps they will repent and accept Jesus as their savior.

Personal best - Greatest Sport Announcers Ever

A radio station asked the question, who are the three best sports announcers in your opinion. Theirs were personal guys from their formative years. Before they said that that's is where I was going too.

For me the greatest announcer I ever heard was Vin Scully, long time Dodger baseball announcer.

But my personal best is Gene Elston long time Houston baseball announcer who also did some other gigs before landing in Houston. His understated yet poignant style has influenced how I watch sports to this day. Despite his lack of emotionalism if you got on late to listen a few seconds would tell you whether the Houston team was ahead or behind. Good plays were admired whether they were for or against the home nine. He always had something left to enhance really great or unusual plays. As seriously as he spoke he always had fun. It was a game.

But youth did have other outstanding announcers. I loved Mann/Casper who did University of Houston basketball for many years. Art Mann and I forget Casper's first name. They were lovable homers. Elston always tried to play it even so when Gene Peterson came to announce Houston Rocket basketball as a wild homer I was taken aback. But I got used to it. Peterson had other good qualities. But I never liked his homerism. I wonder if others who first pro announcer experience was Gene Elston might have felt the same.

Football announcers: Ron Franklin. He did Houston Oilers for a while but has also done Longhorns, Rice Owls, and Houston Cougars. Someone might remember his name. He had a nice smooth voice and made the games fun.

Oh in looking up Ron Franklin I noticed another one - Jerry Trupiano. "Troop" came from St. Louis to announcer the new Houston Aeros hockey team, the first one back in the 70's that was a apart of the upstart WHA that stole a few players from NHL. Hockey. Gordie Howe and his two sons playing together. I did not know much about hockey but I loved it. Trupiano for me painted a great radio word picture. I learned all my hockey expressions from Trupiano. He was aware of his influence and tried to do it right. To this day I can still tell you some of the Aero lines. I remember picturing long shots by defensemen at the point and "goal!" Trupiano has found his final home as a baseball announcer in Boston. But for me he will always be a hockey announcer.

Habakkuk 1

I read Habakkuk 1. Verse 2 stands out to me. I feel this verse so strongly. "I cry out to thee 'violence!'" Do I cry violence about the awful situation in Egypt? (for example) Do I cry out to God for help? Do I wonder why God does not respond? Never mind about what congress does or the president does. They cannot really do much. Do I cry out to you God? Now God can really do something. But he seems to hold back.

I know you mourn God over the many faithful Christians being martyred in Egypt right today. And it's not the only place in the world where Christians are being killed. (And God mourns over all religious persecution even if it Moslem on Hindu or even Christian on Jew, for example.) This is just the one that is in the front page news right now. I know you are sad about the many beautiful churches being destroyed in Egypt, some with people in them as they burn. And there are many who are having to flee to become homeless. I am called to be like my master Jesus. Jesus mourns. I should mourn too. That is not natural for me. I work at mourning. But it is not natural for me. I do not mourn with the compassion that God does. DW is much more like Jesus in this. She sees news of all this and is appalled. I cry to God "violence!" God do something!

Verse 4 also hits me hard. The law is ignored. I think we can see that going on today. Though I do not think we are extra special. Still we as a culture are getting selfish and lawless. The verse continues, Justice is never upheld. The wicked surround the righteous and justice comes out perverted. This is so well expressed. It can apply today as it did in Habakkuk's day.

Lord I cry out to you about our country. The description is so good. It is not so much the judge's fault. They really have little control of what is happening. We pervert the laws. We do not act honestly. Justice is impossible when everyone is corrupt. There are not enough laws to keep everything fair when everyone is trying to cheat.

Lord you know. Lord only you know how to administer justice rightly, righteously. God only you. God I cry out for justice in this land. God I ask that you give our leaders wisdom and understanding and the desire to actually do justly and love mercy. God help us to be teachable, to be subject to honest rules. Help us to be law abiding.

The rest of it the chapter goes into the judgment God will bring on the people because they are not righteous and did violence on their neighbor. God could bring that judgment on us too. But it will likely be in a way that we can never predict.

Jacob strives with God Genesis 32

"An atheist does not find God for the same reason a thief does not find a policeman."

Genesis 32 Jacob strives with God. Some would say the man he fought with was Jesus. Jacob calls the place Peniel. Peniel means "face of God".

Jacob sent everyone across the river first. This is a defensive measure. So he spent the night alone on the far side of the river. He was scared of Esau. In his life he was never alone. He was always surrounded by his family, servants, and possessions. But now he is alone. He spends the night alone. God uses this opportunity to confront Jacob.

Jacob has prayed to God for protection. This is a good first step. But then he does everything humanly possible to prepare for the meeting with Esau. Jacob is all prepared. But first God wanted to do some breaking in Jacob. (pun intended, hehe)

Jacob's name was changed to Israel. He goes from usurper, supplanter to "he who strives with God" (or perhaps "God strives"). God is saying the old Jacob is in the past. Now Jacob has a true relationship with God. It is still in process. But it has been deepened.

Striving is something we all should do with God. And it may break us. Most of us need a little breaking.

new post

I have not done a blog in a while. I have been remiss about quiet times.

Reading in Genesis, specifically Genesis 26. The commentator, John Harris, thinks a theme we can take out of this is how God gets his will done on the earth. And a corollary, how much of our life is preordained?

Abraham obeyed God. But God chose Abraham before he obeyed. God chose him. What would have happened if Abraham had not obeyed? Or does this question have any meaning?

I am like the commentator. This is what inspired me to type this blog. The commentator remembered as a small child asking God to guide him in trivial choices, like whether to choose vanilla or chocolate ice cream. In doing this he thought he was pleasing God. I remember doing that too. I was a young child going to Sunday School. Neither of my parents were believers. So I had no one to ask. I was going on my childlike understanding of what I was being taught in Sunday School. I remember a well thought out curriculum, sitting cross legged on the floor of a small room with an adult teacher who was very well meaning. My mental picture is of a dark room, sitting in a circle. We had four page brochures of Bible stories. There were color drawings, like comic books.

Anyway something I learned got me to thinking about God's will. Perhaps it was just such a story as that of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I remember as a boy of 9 or 10 asking God whose house I should go to first when leaving the house in the morning to go play. I was often the first up amongst several children my own age who lived nearby. My mother might have fed me breakfast, I'm not sure. But I wanted to do what God wanted me to do. I wanted to please God, the same way a child that age wants to please his parents. I would ask God to speak to me, then take the first thought that came into my mind as the answer. Within reason of course. As adults when we are faced with a difficult decision do we still sometimes want to do the same thing, get an east answer spoken in our ear by God?

But this is a childish way of seeing our relationship with God.