bad habit

God seems to be speaking to me (again) about dealing with conflict. I HATE conflict and I react by getting angry. The bank situation is the major case in point. But I was almost civil the last time on the phone.
But then the phone company sent me a bill after I had stopped that service. I called and talked civilly, even nicely, to the lady over the phone. She said it would be taken care of. I would get a new bill in a few weeks. Did being civil help? I’m not sure. But it did not hurt.
So now I checked the prescription and found that they only put 30 pills when they should have put 90. Again I called. Again I was civil. She apologized at the end and said come in for the rest. I then noticed that it did not show more refills. Good thing I kept my last doctor prescription forms. They were doing these prescriptions from older computer entries. I need to get by and show them the newer one. Again, trying to be friendly. Conflict can be handled in a friendly manner. Lord help me.
I did come by late Wednesday night to the pharmacy. It turns out it was my fault, which I heartedly admitted. But they did not want to enter the new scripts. It would sort of work they way it worked this time but my doctor would be called automatically by the computer for approval. I hoped to avoid this next time. They did it finally and this time gave me copies of my scripts, not the originals back. Last time they only entered the ones actually needing to be refilled. The other were not going to need it for a month.
Now, in contrast I have a situation where I am on the other end. A mortgagee got very angry about the situation with the mortgage they have with my company. They have been past due. They have reacted by getting mad at me. They expected the impossible and called me all sorts of names. But we did finally work things out. Their anger did probably get them some concessions. But when they finally paid off I have held off from filing the "release of lien" because they said something about our not deserving this money. So that made me afraid they would stop payment on the check. It’s been two months and I am finally about to do the release. Usually it would only take three weeks or so.
The banker that I am mad at is treating me the same way. He is treating me gingerly. He is delaying actions I guess for similar reasons. I cannot read his mind. But he is acting a lot like I am acting towards these mortgage holders.
In sum, I am trying to be nice when I have to confront conflict situations. It’s a bad habit, long cherished, to get angry in such situations and it will be hard to break.