"But many who are first will be last and the last first."
This is going to be fairly personal.
Jesus is speaking before to Peter question: "What will we get? We have given up everything for you."
Jesus does not deny their claim. The disciples have given up their careers and their family time for him. How many of us have done the same?
Jesus says they shall receive back one hundred times as much now and in heaven. WOW!
Does this same rule apply to us and what we give up for Jesus? How does that jive with our experience? I know I have received a lot from God for committing my life to him. How much of it is simply grace, because he loves me? How much of it falls under this reward system that Jesus speaks of here for the disciples?
What Jesus has given me back does not seem like 100 times what I have given up. But probably I have not given up as much as I think. On the other hand I do not think I could handle any more. I have been blessed with all I think I can handle. God has been very good to me.
DW has a joke, as much as we give away, it always seem like we have more. Clothes is our main example. As much as I try to clear out my closet because it is too full, and it remains too full.
But as for the concluding statement about who will be last and who will be first, I take this personally. I am thinking about my relation to the church. I feel like I have always been among the last, never given much honor. Perhaps most everyone feels this way. At times in my life I have chaffed about this. I don't think I do much anymore. I say that and when I get near a church leader I usually say something wrong. I don't mean to. But my heart must still be angry. I guess. Anyway I tend to avoid leaders but I do not seem to be able to control my mouth.
There were times when I felt ready to be a leader. But obviously no one else did. I got bitter about it sometimes. God would tell me I was not ready yet, giving me to understand that it would be later.
I once complained about this to DG. He very politely responded that it was my fault. I see that I mostly do not get along with people. I am very uncomfortable in groups, any group. I say awkward and embarrassing things that only appear that way after they are out of my mouth. Others are able to sell themselves much better than I. But does that make them called?
But I am convinced that God loves me just as I am and deals with me personally. He can use me just as I am, just not as a leader. There is room for many types of people in the Body of Christ.
But I remember Mark 10:31 (and other places). "But many who are first will be last, and the last first." Am I one of those many? I identify with the last in the church. Only God knows. But I know several people, now gone on to their reward, who I am sure were part of that last that are now first in the kingdom. Life was not fair to them here on earth in many ways. The church made up of people was not fair to them. The church did not appreciate them. But I am sure that they are appreciated in heaven. Their rewards are very great. You may know people like that too.
But I do sometimes think there is a disconnect between God's calling and man's understanding.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
plans
Work is mostly done for the week, I think.
Tomorrow I have skin doctor appt. Appt. with a man to do some tree trimming. And then house group goes on a "field trip" to a coffee shop.
Friday I may talk to another man about some outside repair of our house. Oh, first I have a short chess club over at Hogg MS, a school in the Heights. Rice plays baseball at night. Between time hopefully I will get to the library. I need to work some more on my message for Sunday morning at the retirement home, Brighton Gardens. I worked on it Monday. It's not too great. But hopefully it will come together. I need to spend more time.
Saturday is Holy Spirit Saturday for our Alpha class at Kegan's Jail. Pray for DW and I and all the others, Bairds in particular if you are reading this.
Baseball is at 3:30 PM. We should make some of the game, if DW reads this be prepared.
Sunday will be April 1, anniversary of my dad's Palm Sunday. I will spend some time on that. Maybe I switch to Matthew 3 and 4 instead. I really should. What I've got is for me, very interesting and geeky. But it doesn't preach too well.
Tomorrow I have skin doctor appt. Appt. with a man to do some tree trimming. And then house group goes on a "field trip" to a coffee shop.
Friday I may talk to another man about some outside repair of our house. Oh, first I have a short chess club over at Hogg MS, a school in the Heights. Rice plays baseball at night. Between time hopefully I will get to the library. I need to work some more on my message for Sunday morning at the retirement home, Brighton Gardens. I worked on it Monday. It's not too great. But hopefully it will come together. I need to spend more time.
Saturday is Holy Spirit Saturday for our Alpha class at Kegan's Jail. Pray for DW and I and all the others, Bairds in particular if you are reading this.
Baseball is at 3:30 PM. We should make some of the game, if DW reads this be prepared.
Sunday will be April 1, anniversary of my dad's Palm Sunday. I will spend some time on that. Maybe I switch to Matthew 3 and 4 instead. I really should. What I've got is for me, very interesting and geeky. But it doesn't preach too well.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Life Group (expanded a little)
Our Life Group got to sit outside for our meeting this last week. It was so great. It was light for the first hour or so, hurrah for daylight savings time! We discussed self examination from MP's sermon of last week. Then we spent time in prayer. I love the freedom in this group.
When I came to the house, the front door was open. As I approached I could see that so was the back door, on opposite sides of the house with no walls or obstructions in between. This made the traditional breezeway of pre-air conditioned houses. As this is an old house I'm sure that was not accidental. It did allow for a nice breeze to flow through the house. The temperature was perfect and the humidity was low.
When it did get dark the sky was clear and you could see several stars.
For me self-examination comes as I come before God. It come as a collateral benefit of spending time in scripture and prayer, usually.
When we experience God's presence we know our inadequacy. I can think of a couple of examples. First Isaiah's call. "Oh Lord, I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among a people with unclean lips." Moses at the burning bush experienced God' presence and took off his shoes and knelt.
My inadequacy is wisdom, truly. I know my need for God in general and sense his great love for me.
Examination shows up deeper into specifics. In order to allow God to examine us we must be able to listen, not simply talk to God. God is speaking. He is telling us specific ways I can improve. That way I know God is going to help me.
If I try to do it on my own, my attempts will be futile. I can remember before I became a Christian how I hated myself and tried to change myself. It was like whack-a-mole to suppress my bad habits. If I pushed it down successfully it would just come up in another place. At the time I described it as moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.
God has to be the external force to make change in my life.
When I came to the house, the front door was open. As I approached I could see that so was the back door, on opposite sides of the house with no walls or obstructions in between. This made the traditional breezeway of pre-air conditioned houses. As this is an old house I'm sure that was not accidental. It did allow for a nice breeze to flow through the house. The temperature was perfect and the humidity was low.
When it did get dark the sky was clear and you could see several stars.
For me self-examination comes as I come before God. It come as a collateral benefit of spending time in scripture and prayer, usually.
When we experience God's presence we know our inadequacy. I can think of a couple of examples. First Isaiah's call. "Oh Lord, I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among a people with unclean lips." Moses at the burning bush experienced God' presence and took off his shoes and knelt.
My inadequacy is wisdom, truly. I know my need for God in general and sense his great love for me.
Examination shows up deeper into specifics. In order to allow God to examine us we must be able to listen, not simply talk to God. God is speaking. He is telling us specific ways I can improve. That way I know God is going to help me.
If I try to do it on my own, my attempts will be futile. I can remember before I became a Christian how I hated myself and tried to change myself. It was like whack-a-mole to suppress my bad habits. If I pushed it down successfully it would just come up in another place. At the time I described it as moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.
God has to be the external force to make change in my life.
Friday, March 23, 2012
What does God wish for us?
There are several answers for us.
I just heard this on the radio and want to repeat it.
John's gospel tells us that Jesus said, "That they may be one just as we (Jesus and God his father) are one."
That is what Jesus wishes for those who believe because of the preaching of his disciples. Despite their great differences it seems that his disciples stayed together, in unity, of one mind. I know there were disagreements but they remained united in the important thing, Jesus was the Son of God, he came to earth, lived a perfect life, was killed for our sins and God raised him up to confirm that he was the only begotten Son of God.
Jesus wishes this for all those who follow. He wishes this for all who believe what the disciples taught.
It is so exciting to think of unity with God and unity with one another. Unity implies a commitment. We are committed to the same goals. We want to see more people profess Jesus as God. We want to help more people to live more like Jesus, to be disciples, disciplined in the way we live.
Unity with God is exciting. I think God does call us individually, it is an awesome privilege, to be one with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We can one just as they are one, without losing our unique identity. This is not some kind of Buddhist nirvana.
That seems almost easier that being in unity with our brother Christians. They both seem impossible, for different reasons I guess. Yet Jesus wished it for us. So we should endeavor to be in unity with all the saints, despite the differences in church affiliation. I pray for it just as Jesus did.
I just heard this on the radio and want to repeat it.
John's gospel tells us that Jesus said, "That they may be one just as we (Jesus and God his father) are one."
That is what Jesus wishes for those who believe because of the preaching of his disciples. Despite their great differences it seems that his disciples stayed together, in unity, of one mind. I know there were disagreements but they remained united in the important thing, Jesus was the Son of God, he came to earth, lived a perfect life, was killed for our sins and God raised him up to confirm that he was the only begotten Son of God.
Jesus wishes this for all those who follow. He wishes this for all who believe what the disciples taught.
It is so exciting to think of unity with God and unity with one another. Unity implies a commitment. We are committed to the same goals. We want to see more people profess Jesus as God. We want to help more people to live more like Jesus, to be disciples, disciplined in the way we live.
Unity with God is exciting. I think God does call us individually, it is an awesome privilege, to be one with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We can one just as they are one, without losing our unique identity. This is not some kind of Buddhist nirvana.
That seems almost easier that being in unity with our brother Christians. They both seem impossible, for different reasons I guess. Yet Jesus wished it for us. So we should endeavor to be in unity with all the saints, despite the differences in church affiliation. I pray for it just as Jesus did.
Life Group
At Life Group last night was got to have our meeting under the stars. The weather was perfect, well it got cool as it became night. But the sky was clear. The humidity was low. It was perfect.
The home we meet in is old, pre-airconditioning. The front door and back door are opposite each other with no walls in between. Last night they were both open making a perfect breezeway. I assume that was not accidental and the house was open more often when it was originally built.
This is the time of year when it is great to be in Houston.
The home we meet in is old, pre-airconditioning. The front door and back door are opposite each other with no walls in between. Last night they were both open making a perfect breezeway. I assume that was not accidental and the house was open more often when it was originally built.
This is the time of year when it is great to be in Houston.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Quiet Saturday
It's been raining. It's cold in this house. We have been napping this weekend. Now I'm up and just had a short quiet time.
I am using an Episcopalian daily lectionary included in a Lenten pamphlet sent me by a seminary. All the comments on the lectionary are done by seminary students. It's pretty good.
I have not used an Episcopal lectionary in several years. The Scripture Union daily readings I usually use just go through Bible books, usually alternating with Old Testament then New Testament. But I lost my quarterly book. I could use an email I get of the daily readings.
The Episcopal lectionary consists of an OT section, a NT section, a gospel section, and psalms. There are morning psalms and evening psalms and if you read them all you would read all the psalms every 3o days. Something like that.
So today I read psalms 23 and 27: The Lord is my shepherd and the Lord is my light and my salvation. As I morbidly think of death and mortality I am encouraged by the passage in 23 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will not fear because Thou God is with me." That speaks right to my brooding though it does not entirely relieve me. Death is real and serious. I will not be relieved of it.
The gospel, which the seminary student commented on, was Mark 5:1-20, the story of the Gerasene demoniac. God chose to heal this man, before he even asked. Then interestingly he talked to the demon(s) and allowed him a sort of compromise. What good it did the demons to live in drowned pigs I do not know. Perhaps the demons did not think about the reaction of the pigs when they entered them. The pigs went wild, but not in the way a human would.
But Jesus cared for this man. He did not seem to care about the reaction of the more "sane" in the region when their whole world was disrupted so wildly. The man they could count on to be wild was now clothed and sane. And a fortune in pigs was destroyed instead. They would probably have preferred things to stay as they had been.
I finished my quiet time by getting my Greek-English Bible and working through the Greek with of course lots of help from the English translation on the opposite page. That was interesting and helpful. There was at least one word play where the same word is used to refer to Jesus and to the healed man. I find it interesting that Mark refers to him as the demoniac even after he is healed. Perhaps that is a reflection on how the people of the region referred to him. Perhaps he would always be referred to as the "man with the evil spirit".
Jesus instructed him to stay there and tell everyone (evangelize) about the great thing the Lord had done for him and his mercy to him. That last part is probably what kept him from protesting. He knew that he had received a great mercy and that this would be his way of giving back to Jesus for what he had done.
I am using an Episcopalian daily lectionary included in a Lenten pamphlet sent me by a seminary. All the comments on the lectionary are done by seminary students. It's pretty good.
I have not used an Episcopal lectionary in several years. The Scripture Union daily readings I usually use just go through Bible books, usually alternating with Old Testament then New Testament. But I lost my quarterly book. I could use an email I get of the daily readings.
The Episcopal lectionary consists of an OT section, a NT section, a gospel section, and psalms. There are morning psalms and evening psalms and if you read them all you would read all the psalms every 3o days. Something like that.
So today I read psalms 23 and 27: The Lord is my shepherd and the Lord is my light and my salvation. As I morbidly think of death and mortality I am encouraged by the passage in 23 "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will not fear because Thou God is with me." That speaks right to my brooding though it does not entirely relieve me. Death is real and serious. I will not be relieved of it.
The gospel, which the seminary student commented on, was Mark 5:1-20, the story of the Gerasene demoniac. God chose to heal this man, before he even asked. Then interestingly he talked to the demon(s) and allowed him a sort of compromise. What good it did the demons to live in drowned pigs I do not know. Perhaps the demons did not think about the reaction of the pigs when they entered them. The pigs went wild, but not in the way a human would.
But Jesus cared for this man. He did not seem to care about the reaction of the more "sane" in the region when their whole world was disrupted so wildly. The man they could count on to be wild was now clothed and sane. And a fortune in pigs was destroyed instead. They would probably have preferred things to stay as they had been.
I finished my quiet time by getting my Greek-English Bible and working through the Greek with of course lots of help from the English translation on the opposite page. That was interesting and helpful. There was at least one word play where the same word is used to refer to Jesus and to the healed man. I find it interesting that Mark refers to him as the demoniac even after he is healed. Perhaps that is a reflection on how the people of the region referred to him. Perhaps he would always be referred to as the "man with the evil spirit".
Jesus instructed him to stay there and tell everyone (evangelize) about the great thing the Lord had done for him and his mercy to him. That last part is probably what kept him from protesting. He knew that he had received a great mercy and that this would be his way of giving back to Jesus for what he had done.
Monday, March 5, 2012
blog
I read some psalms this morning. Nothing grabbed me you know?
Some famous sayings from psalms 56-57:
This I know, that God is for me.
In God have I put my trust, I will not be afraid; what can man do unto me?
Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth.
Awake, my glory; awake, lute and harp: I will wake the dawn.
I will give thee thanks among the peoples, O Lord; of thee will I sing psalms among the nations: For thy loving-kindness is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds. Be exalted above the heavens, O God; let thy glory be above all the earth!
Some famous sayings from psalms 56-57:
This I know, that God is for me.
In God have I put my trust, I will not be afraid; what can man do unto me?
Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth.
Awake, my glory; awake, lute and harp: I will wake the dawn.
I will give thee thanks among the peoples, O Lord; of thee will I sing psalms among the nations: For thy loving-kindness is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds. Be exalted above the heavens, O God; let thy glory be above all the earth!
Sunday
DW and DD2 are back Celebration Annual Conference up by the airport. They had an exciting time. I am hearing about it right now.
This is my baseball weekend, three college games from top notch teams Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Each team got tree games with non-conference teams. It's not quite a round robin, almost. I got in 1 1/2 games Friday and Saturday and 2 1/2 games today.
Rice lost to Texas Friday then won the next two days. Texas by contrast lost the next two days to Tennessee and Arkansas. I think Texas no longer thinks of Arkansas as a big rival, they don't play enough anymore. Rice is their big in state non-conference rival. Texas is now 4-9 I think now.
Houston won the last two days, well they won twice. They do have good pitching.
I went to Brighton by myself this morning and gave the message. It went well I think. I spent more time listening to God this time. I made at least three fairly long sessions this week to plan the sermon. As I presented the message I could see there were some disconnects that I had to cover extemporaneously. Those parts may not have been as good.
I left the day long game session to sing at SJD. That was fun and went well. So I made two services but I did not make it to my home church service. DW and DD2 were not happy that I missed. I was supposed to help with communion at Vineyard but DW and DD2 covered it just fine.
All and all a good day. Praise God!!
This is my baseball weekend, three college games from top notch teams Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Each team got tree games with non-conference teams. It's not quite a round robin, almost. I got in 1 1/2 games Friday and Saturday and 2 1/2 games today.
Rice lost to Texas Friday then won the next two days. Texas by contrast lost the next two days to Tennessee and Arkansas. I think Texas no longer thinks of Arkansas as a big rival, they don't play enough anymore. Rice is their big in state non-conference rival. Texas is now 4-9 I think now.
Houston won the last two days, well they won twice. They do have good pitching.
I went to Brighton by myself this morning and gave the message. It went well I think. I spent more time listening to God this time. I made at least three fairly long sessions this week to plan the sermon. As I presented the message I could see there were some disconnects that I had to cover extemporaneously. Those parts may not have been as good.
I left the day long game session to sing at SJD. That was fun and went well. So I made two services but I did not make it to my home church service. DW and DD2 were not happy that I missed. I was supposed to help with communion at Vineyard but DW and DD2 covered it just fine.
All and all a good day. Praise God!!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Lenten fast
This seems a different topic, slightly any way. You get two blogs today.
Ash Wednesday was a week ago. I decided to give up caffeine for Lent. I have not done a "fast" in a while. This is mostly a small discipline. I don't miss caffeine but I eat and drink it a lot. I don't really think caffeine is bad for you. I just need a small disciple because I am very bad at fasts.
I'm not sure what I expected, nothing really. But God has blessed my puny effort I think. I think it is because of this that I am encouraged to work on other small disciplines (that add up). I think they especially add up in God's eyes who truly loves me (us) very much and wants to encourage any sign of spiritual life.
Yes God has blessed me by giving me the wisdom to give up my Facebook games. I am just not going to be ruled by them. I have found things I need to do are being pushed aside. I may come to them occasionally but I am not going to worry about game deadlines.
I am not giving up Evony, my online mostly text war game. But I have installed a "bot" to help me with all the pressure of keeping my imaginary troops fed.
Anyway I praise God for giving me a blessing from my very little effort at fasting.
Ash Wednesday was a week ago. I decided to give up caffeine for Lent. I have not done a "fast" in a while. This is mostly a small discipline. I don't miss caffeine but I eat and drink it a lot. I don't really think caffeine is bad for you. I just need a small disciple because I am very bad at fasts.
I'm not sure what I expected, nothing really. But God has blessed my puny effort I think. I think it is because of this that I am encouraged to work on other small disciplines (that add up). I think they especially add up in God's eyes who truly loves me (us) very much and wants to encourage any sign of spiritual life.
Yes God has blessed me by giving me the wisdom to give up my Facebook games. I am just not going to be ruled by them. I have found things I need to do are being pushed aside. I may come to them occasionally but I am not going to worry about game deadlines.
I am not giving up Evony, my online mostly text war game. But I have installed a "bot" to help me with all the pressure of keeping my imaginary troops fed.
Anyway I praise God for giving me a blessing from my very little effort at fasting.
news
I am sorry I do not blog more.
Spring is coming to Houston. We have put in some peppers and tomatoes from our local feed store. I trust they pick better varieties than the box store.
We got two avocado trees from the county fruit tree sale. We have not put them in yet. Busy. Busy.
I did find time to do some beekeeping. The hive has been pretty neglected. It looks awful. Thursday morning before work I donned the bee suit and fired up the smoker and got in to do a full check and clean. To my surprise the hive looked wonderful and it was full of honey. I figured the queen had not started her spring build up so there would be less bees to bother me (and the neighbors). I was right. But I got a bonus of three shallow boxes full of honey. I took them off and placed them covered in the garage. Now I need to allocate time to extract this. I've got approximately 6 gallons (72 pounds) of honey here. The top looked like light spring honey. Could it be citrus? I want to extract it separately to find out. I am excited.
As I mentioned spring has come to Houston. I noticed local citrus trees are blooming in abundance and setting fruit. It looks to be a good year. Azaleas are in bloom all over town.
Barbara trimmed the roses as is her tradition last week, after Valentines. They are blooming as are the white abelias.
Spring is coming to Houston. We have put in some peppers and tomatoes from our local feed store. I trust they pick better varieties than the box store.
We got two avocado trees from the county fruit tree sale. We have not put them in yet. Busy. Busy.
I did find time to do some beekeeping. The hive has been pretty neglected. It looks awful. Thursday morning before work I donned the bee suit and fired up the smoker and got in to do a full check and clean. To my surprise the hive looked wonderful and it was full of honey. I figured the queen had not started her spring build up so there would be less bees to bother me (and the neighbors). I was right. But I got a bonus of three shallow boxes full of honey. I took them off and placed them covered in the garage. Now I need to allocate time to extract this. I've got approximately 6 gallons (72 pounds) of honey here. The top looked like light spring honey. Could it be citrus? I want to extract it separately to find out. I am excited.
As I mentioned spring has come to Houston. I noticed local citrus trees are blooming in abundance and setting fruit. It looks to be a good year. Azaleas are in bloom all over town.
Barbara trimmed the roses as is her tradition last week, after Valentines. They are blooming as are the white abelias.
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