I have the definite feel that on our July vacation trip we were tested. Every travel plan was messed up. Things did not go the way I planned. A lot of this was my fault, poor planning, poor leading on my part.
Also DW got sick and could not work on the mountain. She was not able to visit friends while in Kansas. It certainly did not turn out the way she expected it to.
Well, I am always tempted to think God is testing me because he is angry with me or he is disappointed in me. I have to struggle with those thoughts and feelings every time I face adversity. However we are told in scripture we are tested because he loves us. The testing is to get us closer to God and the perfection he wants for us. He is proud of us. But like any good daddy he wants us to grow. This is for our happiness and joy.
After thinking about it from a couple of weeks I can encourage myself that God took the time to test me because he loves me. He wants me to grow in ability, in grace. He is working to bring me higher. And he wants me to bless him in the midst of it.
At the time it was happening I knew I should feel that way but it was hard to act out of it. I have so much more to learn. At the time I felt very unspiritual. I spent less time in prayer than I usually do. One might think that in the holy land one would feel more holy. We I didn't. I felt less holy if anything. Possibly because my cares and concerns overwhelmed me.
He wants me to know he loves me in the midst of testing. In the midst of testing I allow myself to doubt God's approval of me. I worry testing occurs because he is mad at me. But I can thank God that he takes the time to teach me. It is a good thing.
No comments:
Post a Comment