I am reading Psalm 38 verses 1-3 "Rebuke me not in your wrath." "For your arrows have sunk deep." "There is no soundness in my flesh because of your indignation." "There is no health in my bones because of my sin."
I had a weird thought. Do death and sin have a direct connection? We remember death came into the world because of sin. There was no death before Adam sinned. Does sin directly cause sickness in people? Verses 1-8 imply such a relationship. or am I being too literal here. Our sin causes God's wrath and indignation. Does it cause dis-ease in us that makes us older and causes us to live a shorter period? Perhaps this is too literal. But it is a question that came to mind while reading this section.
We are burdened by our sins. It weighs us down, burdens us down, causes our legs to burn. It makes us sickly. Is this just an allegory or is it literally true? Sin did bring death into the world. We will all die. Are we like the novel, Picture of Dorian Gray, where the evil deeds of this man Dorian Gray end up on his portrait instead of his face as they are supposed to. Those evil lines and worry lines would be signs of his aging. Without this aging is the character living longer than he should. When he later slashes the painting in self loathing this act is like suicide. Is Oscar Wilde making the claim that our sins cause us to age? No probably not, he is writing a fantasy. Yet his fantasy world is close to reality. We often do think, perhaps wrongly that our cares, if not our sins, will become etched on our face.
We put a lot of store in healing of memories. i think we do harbor a hope that this healing will lessen our burden of sin and perhaps give us a better quality of life if not a longer life. But I think when we go in for prayer we usually choose to pray about awful memories of when people have sinned against us. I think often that is easier to share and perhaps simpler to unravel. But we would do better to pray about the sins we are ashamed of, the acts where we have sinned against people and need to forgive ourselves for and ask others for forgiveness, if we dare. In sinning we are ashamed of ourselves. We squash down the remembrance of the acts I think. But the act of pressing them down puts an awful burden on our minds and emotions.
We do not share these things because we are so ashamed. We do not want others knowing about the awful things we have done. The burden of sin is intolerable. So we try to forget. Even when we try to honest pray about these things they have been hidden in our subconscious for so long we cannot bring them to mind anymore.
Would praying through those things put more years on our lives? I am not sure. It would be good to resolve these things before God, pray for forgiveness for ourselves, make reparations when we can and when we dare. But it's awful hard. I usually prefer to make a general confession and put my hands into God's mercy. I do deserve to die and I will.
Psalm 38 continues, saying people are out to take advantage of his plight. He pleads with God to protect him. The he says he is guilty and he beseeches God for mercy and forgiveness. Then he ends by proclaiming God's faithfulness and his trust that God will forgive him and justify him in the end. After all this about his sin causing him to waste away he also states at the end that he is following good. That seems contradictory. Yet I can understand it. The psalmist knows that despite his sin, his iniquity God is still for him and he can ask God to help him. God is his only hope. I can sure identify with this psalm today.
Psalm 38:1-22
^ A Psalm of David, for a memorial. O LORD, rebuke me not in Your
wrath, And chasten me not in Your burning anger.
^ For Your arrows have sunk deep into me, And Your hand has pressed down on me.
^ There is no soundness in my flesh because of Your indignation; There is
no health in my bones because of my sin.
^ For my iniquities are gone over my head; As a heavy burden they weigh too much for me.
^ My wounds grow foul and fester Because of my folly.
^ I am bent over and greatly bowed down; I go mourning all day long.
^ For my loins are filled with burning, And there is no soundness in my flesh.
^ I am benumbed and badly crushed; I groan because of the agitation of my
heart.
^ Lord, all my desire is before You; And my sighing is not hidden from You.
^ My heart throbs, my strength fails me; And the light of my eyes, even that has gone from me.
^ My loved ones and
my friends stand aloof from my plague; And my kinsmen stand afar off.
^ Those who seek my life lay snares for me; And those who seek to injure me have threatened destruction, And they devise treachery all day long.
^ But I, like a deaf man, do not hear; And I am like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
^ Yes, I am like a man who does not hear, And in whose mouth are no arguments.
^ For I hope in You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God.
^ For I said, "May they not rejoice over me, Who, when my foot slips, would magnify
themselves against me."
^ For I am ready to fall, And my sorrow is continually before me.
^ For I confess my iniquity; I am full of anxiety because of my sin.
^ But my enemies are vigorous and strong, And many are those who hate me wrongfully.
^ And those who repay evil for good, They oppose me, because I follow what is good.
^ Do not forsake me, O LORD; O my God, do not be far from me!
^ Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation!